thank you

by elizestrydom

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Thank you, for a few things. Firstly, for your responses to that last post. I really appreciate your kind messages, encouragement, understanding and the experiences you’ve shared with me. I definitely feel less alone and more at ease. It can be a bit weird writing about personal stuff so earnestly, though. You wake up the next morning with a change of heart. Things feel better and so you wonder if you were just being melodramatic. Should I take it all back? Delete my words? What will people think? Unfortunately that last question dictates far too many of my actions. I reckon the anxiety first became a thing because I was over-thinking what people thought or might think of me. I don’t want to become a person who just does what she pleases with little to no regard for how it affects others but I don’t want to continue being the girl who is constantly checking herself, censoring herself and over-analysing the thoughts, feelings and opinions she has before expressing them for fear of how she will be interpreted or perceived. That girl’s not me! Where did she come from? I think that she’s the reason I’ve backed away from most of the popular forms of social media (Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr). The energy! The stress! Of re-moulding yourself to fit in with the people/online culture/social setting/group you find yourself in. No wonder I so often crave quiet time alone in my bedroom/trips to deserted beaches/anonymity. I’m working on and through this stuff, stick with me. That kinda ties in with the second thank you. I recently saw that over 1000 of you WordPress-ers are following this little ol’ blog of mine. Thank you! That said, I love how WordPress places barely any emphasis on followers. I didn’t even know how to find the figure until recently. It really helps reinforce the view I have of this space: that it’s an independent platform in which I can share images I like and write openly about my life. It’s never a chore to post here, rather a joy. I feel free and confident and hopeful here. Thanks for that.

Here’s a photo of me from a little while back. It was taken in NYC by a lovely redhead named Anna. I met her through Tumblr, ha šŸ˜‰

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